


How her heart turned cold

by Crowleysqueen97



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Awesome Rowena MacLeod, Background Rowena MacLeod, F/F, F/M, POV Rowena MacLeod, Rowena Needs A Hug, Sad, Sad Ending, Scotland, Selfish Dean Winchester, Sweet Sam Winchester, Witches, backsory, poor Rowena, rich Roderick, roderick - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-20
Updated: 2018-08-20
Packaged: 2019-06-30 07:49:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15747420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crowleysqueen97/pseuds/Crowleysqueen97
Summary: Rowena is locked up in the bunker's basement, the boys need answers but they really don't expect Rowena to open up and tell them why she became the heartless witch she is now.This is probably one of the hardest things I ever wrote but I'm proud of it, a character like Rowena deserves a background story.





	1. Chapter 1

Here she was, the most gorgeous witch in the entire world struggling against the chains around her wrists, her eyes filled with anger, a simple glare could make the boys shiver, she was as dangerous as a wild fire, and they knew it.  
She scoffed and shook her head ''as soon as I'll get out of these cuffs...and trust me I will, you two will be screwed'' she hissed continuing to squirm on the chair trying to get out of the chains. Dean laughed at that and lifted her chin a little ''of course you will sweetie'' he said and shook his head ''come on Sammy we'll be back later...maybe...if we feel like you deserve water or food'' he threatened walking out.

Sam frowned and stared at Rowena almost fascinated, he gave her a sad look and slowly began to walk upstairs before his eyes returned to Rowena, and she scoffed ''what are you staring at? Happy to see me in chains?!'' she growled continuing to try to set herself free, if someone didn't know her he could have thought she was scared, almost in panic.

Sam shook his head and walked out slamming the door closed locking it just in case, leaving Rowena surrounded by darkness and silence, annoying and scary silence, she wasn't the type of person who disliked silence but in such a dramatic condition she did...she hated it because it brought memories up.

The boys wanted to go back to Rowena to provide her some food, but they stumbled in a hunt, so they couldn't return to the bunker for the following two days, they almost forgot of her, once they walked in Dean immediately dropped on the bed groaning, he had a few wounds on his body, but he couldn't care less, not now, he was too tired to care.

Sam on the other hand immediately rushed to the kitchen preparing a huge sandwich for Rowena, he couldn't believe they had left her like that for two days, she might have been an evil witch, but she was still a lady.

He grabbed a bottle of water and rushed downstairs with the plate, from outside the room he could hear the weak sound of someone sobbing, and he froze, was that Rowena? He couldn't believe Rowena was able to cry, he shivered and felt extremely guilty, he unlocked the door and the sobs immediately stopped, he walked in and gulped glancing at Rowena, she had smudged make up running down her cheeks, and she looked like a mess yet she looked royal ''shit- Rowena I'm sorry, we had to go on a hunt'' He said immediately as she avoided to look at him scared to reveal how weak she must have looked ''save it'' she muttered in a dark and angry voice that was still a little shaky ''no Rowena I'm sorry, look I brought you something to eat and dri-'' Rowena laughed and glared at him ''I rather die of starvation than have to say thanks to you'' she hissed and Sam smiled weakly, Rowena and her pride.

 

He sighed and placed the plate over the table along with the bottle of water ''wanna stand up and stretch a little?'' he asked holding the keys of her chains in his hands, she frowned and didn't answer even though her eyes wondered over the keys, her muscles hurt terribly, it felt like having knives buried deep in her flesh so yes she wanted to walk but no, she would have never begged for it ''okay then...ehm...wait'' Sam said embarrassedly walking behind Rowena kneading down to unlock the chains around her ankles and waist leaving on just the pair of cuffs around her wrists.

 

Rowena widened her eyes and immediately stood up trying to run towards the exit, she didn't consider the pain in her muscles that as soon as she stood felt like a thousand bullets, she cried out in pain and fell on her knees as more tears rolled down her cheeks and Sam gulped feeling like shit ''damn it Rowena please take it easy'' he whispered falling on his knees beside her to help her up even though she struggled out of his hold ''you don't know how it felt like!'' she yelled angrily ''to be here in the dark chained up, you have no idea how it felt like back then'' she hissed as Sam stared at her in confusion ''Rowena what are you talking about?'' He asked softly carefully picking Rowena up resting her over the table as she gave him a weird look ''what do you think you're doing?'' she asked somehow worried as Sam sighed ''Rowena I am just trying to help, If you just le me massage your legs it will ease the pain and then no more chair okay? I won't chain you down'' He said softly as she slowly calmed down and nodded letting Sam quietly take off her shoes and lift her long skirt just enough for him to gently rub her thighs at first causing some whimpers of pain out of the witch's throat, she took deep breaths and stared at Sam for a long while before she broke the silence ''I wasn't always like this you know...'' she whispered as Sam looked up giving her his soft puppy eyes ''like this?'' he asked as she nodded ''evil and heartless'' she explained wiping her eyes ''I used to love'' 

 

 

1660, Scotland

Rowena's POV:

 

''are you out of your mind?'' I gasped as a pair of arms wrapped around me out of nowhere right while I was trying to work ''you know you're not supposed to be here'' I added as I turned around with a bright smile on my lips, and here he stood, the love of my life ''Roderick'' I whispered as he grinned back and winked pulling me close to his chest kissing the top of my head ''you have absolutely no idea how much I missed you'' he whispered lifting my chin as I smiled dreamily getting lost in those blue eyes of his, they were perfect just like him and I couldn't believe how happy I was around him.

I was barely a 15 years old girl, and he was 17, he knew everything about me, every single thing, he knew I was a natural witch, he knew how much my family was struggling, I could still feel the smell of my family's death all over me sometimes, Dad had died a couple of years ago and mom...they took her away one day, they said she was too crazy to be around, that dad's death had destroyed her and I...I was left all alone trying to make a living in a small town where everyone was stinking poor.

Roderick well... he wasn't exactly from here, we met a few weeks but our love simply bloomed in a couple of days and since then he always tried to spend as much time as he could with me, he knew I was all alone, and he knew I was poor...I really didn't know why he liked me...I had nothing to offer him if not a short skinny pale body with a crown made of red hair...yeah red hair...at that time being a redhead meant being the devil's daughter and I still wondered how I had managed to be alive.

 

''I missed you'' he whispered quickly pulling me behind the wall of a small house where no one could have seen us, I bit my lip and blushed lightly ''but you know you're not allowed to visit me, it's dangerous and...if your father-''

''he won't find out Ro but...'' he sighed sadly and stroked my hair gently playing with one of my curls, there was sadness all over his face and that promised nothing good ''what is it my love?'' I asked worried, he sighed once again and looked around before he grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the woods running as fast as he could, of course he had the strength to run...he had something to eat every day...me though I had to struggle to keep my eyes open as my vision got blurry almost after a few minutes, I simply gritted my teeth and continued to run with him pretending everything was fine because it embarrassed me to be that weak in front of him.

We stopped at a nearby lake and I immediately sat down on the green grass taking deep shaky breaths, I was shaking so hard, and I was sure he had noticed now because he immediately knelt beside me to check on my pulse ''when's the last time you ate Ro?'' he asked and I blushed embarrassedly ''ro?'' he asked again and I looked away ''when's the last time you visited me?'' I whispered as I laid down closing my eyes exhausted, he cursed and stood up, he always had a knife in his belt, in a second he was with his feet in the lake and I opened my eyes to look at him ''what are ya doing?'' I asked weakly as he smirked and stabbed a fish walking back down to me with a proud grin while my eyes were wide in shock ''Roderick are you crazy?! That's property of the-''

''king? Oh really don't tell me'' He said smirking while he laughed and his smile was so gorgeous, I rolled my eyes and scoffed ''you bloody royals always showing off'' I joked smiling at him as he began to start a small fire to grill the fish he had just killed for me, I was so thankful to have him around, I smiled and leaned close to him resting my head on his shoulder as he proceeded to cut and clean the fish chuckling ''m'lady breakfast is ready'' he joked and I laughed covering my mouth because I was scared someone could have heard us ''you're an idiot'' I said even though my eyes were filled with love for him, he handed me the food and I tried to stop myself from diving my face in it, it wasn't the right thing to do in front of a prince ''thank you'' I whispered starting to eat slowly, the taste wasn't the best but this here was the only food I had in the past few days so it obviously felt like heaven.

 

Once I was done I wiped my mouth and looked at him ''hey what were you trying to tell me?'' I asked as he frowned, his smile vanished in a second ''My parents they...arranged a wedding for me with this dumb princess, Rowena I don't want to marry her, I want you'' he said, and I was sure he was honest because he had tears in his eyes but at his words my heart broke...there wasn't much he could do, I was poor, absolutely not royal and a witch...there was no way I could have been his girl for eternity ''Roderick I...'' I tried to speak but I failed looking down, I should have known this was too good to be mine, I didn't deserve it...I was nothing more than a pale, scared little girl who smelled of filth and death.

''Rowena...'' he whispered cupping my cheek trying to meet my eyes but I tried to avoid his eyes on me ''Rowena listen...I want to run away with you'' he stated in a firm tone and my eyes widened ''wait...you'd give up everything you have to...run away with me? They'd kill you or worse'' I said, but he didn't seem to care, he smiled and pulled me in his arms ''well then let them try and get me, I have you Rowena, you're a witch, a powerful one and I'm trained to be a knight, we could do this, we just have to leave the country and start a new life, I'll get as much money as I can get from the castle, clothes and a horse, and then we'll be on our way, the wedding is next week...we'll leave tonight'' he said smiling brightly and I really couldn't believe how lucky I was.

In a second I was laying on top of him and I kissed him lovingly and deeply, I was saving myself for the right guy, and he was the one, the one and only, in a couple of seconds all our clothes were gone, and we ran in the lake laughing, we hugged, kissed, played with water and then I decided to let him have the only precious thing I still had left...me

\-----

 

''oh the things that didn't happen in that lake Samuel'' I said biting my lip at the thought ''that prince was the best'' I said dreamily as Sam grimaced but kept listening to me, he was somehow hooked on the story and I sighed taking a sip of water ''you know Samuel, you kinda remind me of him, he used to have your hair. The only thing different were his eyes, deep blue like....like...'' I sighed and shook my head ''Lucifer...that's why I fell for him like a bloody idiot in the first place...those eyes...hiding lies''

 

\-----

I got dressed and said goodbye to him then I ran back to the house where I used to work as housekeeper with my hair still wet, being late and in obvious terrible conditions had costed me a couple of slaps but I didn't care any more, because this was my last day in town, they could have hurt me all they wanted...it was the last day...the last day...

 

I packed the few things I owned and waited for the moon to rise high in the sky, I wrapped my purple long cape around my body and carefully sneaked out of the house, once out I breathed in the cold Scottish air then I began to run in the woods like my life depended on it and somehow it really did. The cape itself was a gift from Roderick, he stole it from his mother because he didn't want me to freeze to death, and I was glad I had it now because It was seriously freezing cold, Scotland was like that, warm during the day and then cold like hell during the night.

I waited in front of that lake for what felt like hours and after a while I began to be scared not for me but for Roderick...what if something had happened to him?'' I gulped and closed my eyes trying to cast a vision spell to make sure he was fine right when I heard a noise behind me, and he smirked ''I'm back love'' he whispered and I ran to him wrapping my arms around his neck kissing him deeply and passionately ''let's go come on Roderick'' I said scared, and he nodded placing me on a dark brown horse before he jumped on it as well ''okay I have everything planned Rowena'' He said proudly as we vanished in the dark wood quickly, I held tightly on him and eventually we stopped when it was almost day, the horse needed some rest and so did we, so we got down, and he placed a blanket on the cold grass letting me lay down, I smiled at him and patted the spot beside me ''come here won't ya?'' I asked yawning as he smirked and placed his warm body against mine holding me for the rest of the night.

 

Weeks went by and winter came covering everything with ice and snow, the horse wasn't in good health and neither was I, I didn't know what was wrong with me but I kept throwing up, especially in the morning, I was scared to die like my father from a stupid and painful disease so one day along our trip we decided to stop at a small town where apparently a doctor lived, he asked us so much money to just look at me, I was pretty sure he did it because we seemed desperate and because he knew exactly who Roderick was...bloody twat. He made me undress and placed his hands on my belly pressing just lightly before he scoffed ''have you two laid together?'' he asked as I blushed and glanced at Roderick ''what kind of question is that?'' I hissed as the doctor rolled his eyes and tossed the dress back at me ''you're pregnant and now if you don't mind...I'd like to receive a generous offer for my silence prince'' he said to Roderick who groaned and handed the man the last few coins we had. 

Once out I burst into tears, I wanted a child, I really did, especially Roderick's but...we were poor and in the middle of nowhere without even a house on our heads ''what are we going to do?'' I asked shaking hard as he gave me a cold smile that made me shiver even more ''don't worry Rowena, I have an idea'' he said pulling me into a tight hold.  
\-------------

to be continued.


	2. How her heart turned cold

''and then?'' Sam asked wide-eyed, curiosity basically written all over his face. I scoffed and took a bite of the sandwich he had made for me sighing ''and then he...''  
\------------------

After a couple of days he told me that he had a plan, he wanted to go back to the castle and marry this girl, he would have said that someone kidnapped him and that he was ready to marry the princess, I didn't agree of course because I felt like I was about to lose everything, but he kept saying that he would have helped me with money, food, clothes and much more...and for the sake of the baby I agreed.

He sent a letter to the castle asking to be rescued saying that he had been kidnapped with a woman and that those kidnappers had raped that woman causing her to get pregnant, I wasn't happy with how things were turning out but what else were we supposed to do? A chariot came to rescue him a few days later, and he made sure I was allowed to get in as well, he told anyone I had helped him to escape and that now everyone at the castle owned me a good life. They honestly believed the story and once at the castle they even gave me one of the bedrooms, it was huge and I couldn't believe I was finally getting a warm and comfy bed in a castle, they fed me and gave me some beautiful dresses but there was a high price to pay...I had to witness my true love slowly starting to fall for a woman that wasn't me...she was younger and royal, she was so beautiful and nothing compared to me...a poor woman with a bloody baby in her belly. I slowly began to hate this child, Roderick and I were happy, poor but happy, the only reason why we returned to the castle was because of this stupid tiny human and I couldn't stand it...I couldn't stand those cakes in the throne room and that blonde slut calling me her friend, I was supposed to share that throne with Roderick not her, she even dared to ask me to help her to pick a cake and I couldn't contain my anger anymore.

The same night I stomped in Roderick's room, he was sleeping alone because he couldn't share a room with his pretty little queen yet, I slammed the door closed and I shook him awake ''Roderick for God's sake talk to me!'' I yelled, and he widened his eyes standing up placing his hand on my mouth ''shh! Shut up! Are you out of your mind?!'' he growled pushing me against the wall as I gasped and tears quickly formed in my eyes, the sweet touches that once made my heart skip in joy now hurt me and terrified me, I used to be weak, poor and the man I worked for used to beat me but all of that was nothing compared to the humiliation he was putting me through ''Roderick'' I whimpered sobbing ''you don't love me anymore do you?'' I whispered shakily, my huge belly was now showing, lifting my dress a little, I was close to giving birth and there was nothing I wanted more than kill this thing growing inside of me, it disgusted me, it scared me but most of all it reminded me of how stupid i had been in the past.

''no Rowena and you should get over it, be thankful I still let you sleep in this castle, now get out of here or I'll tell anyone who you really are'' he hissed as I sobbed louder holding myself to keep me from falling, I couldn't believe how quickly he had changed his mind about me ''but Rode-'' he slapped me and I gasped holding my throbbing cheek ''this is your child Roderick! Your bloody child! You put this thing in me!'' I yelled loudly and probably the entire castle heard. I scoffed and ran out of his room, I got into mine quickly gathering all my belongings and some of the queen's before I started to hurry out, I wanted to die but certainly not by the hands of this bloody family. My head was spinning was again but I managed to hide in the stable because honestly I couldn't walk anymore, I had no more strength left. I collapsed on a bed of hay feeling a strong pain in my belly, I gasped and let out a scream of pain and that's when I noticed that the shock had caused me to go through labor ''no! No! It's too soon, I don't want you'' I mumbled crying softly as the pain shoot through my body once again.

A few minutes later I had by my side one of the family's maids that probably woke up due to my screams, she held my hand and checked my pulse helping me to breath and stay awake ''shh I'm here with you love just breath'' she whispered brushing gently a strand of hair out of my face while I gave birth to my son...the son I used to love and that now I hated with all I had ''It's a boy'' the woman, much older than me whispered using a towel to dry my sweat, I was simply staring at the ceiling with dried tears on my cheeks as I tried to catch my breath ''kill him'' I muttered as the baby cried loudly in the woman's arms and I let out another scream of frustration this time ''I told you to kill that bloody thing!'' I yelled crying because deep down I hated myself for wanting that, I really used to love him...my baby...''I loved him...'' I whispered almost loosing consciousness as the woman sighed sadly and helped me to clean the blood from between my thighs, she wrapped a cleaned towel around my son and lulled him to sleep while I passed out. 

The following morning I woke up on a chariot headed out of town, I had my son in my hands, some money and a letter:

''Dear girl, 

Life isn't fair, not at all...I did the best I could to save you, I'm giving you the possibility to start again, Roderick told anyone you cursed him and forced him to sleep with him, my dear girl you're in danger, just go as far as you can from here, I healed you as best I could, I know how it feels like to be broken hearted, I wish you all the luck,

yours,

Adeline''

I stared at the letter in my hands for the entire ride not glancing once at the child who seemed in discomfort in my arms, I forced him...cursed him...he not only broke my heart no...he was now taking my freedom as well along with my reputation, a single mother, a poor single mother... a redheaded poor single mother in Scotland and with an accusation of witchcraft given directly from the King...I had not much time.

I sighed and finally glanced at the baby for the first time...blue eyes like his father and a short beginning of red hair, I scoffed and smiled...a wicked smile ''you ruined my life'' I hissed glaring at the baby ''your name...your name will be... Roderick... Fergus... Macleod and I hope you'll die soon...no! I want you to live, you'll be the living proof of my mistakes Fergus, love...'' I said shaking my head ''love is nothing but weakness and I swear to God...I'll never...be weak again'' I said wiping my tears away.

Fergus stared at me with curiosity and confusion in his eyes, after all he was a beautiful baby but I couldn't care less, he seemed to smile at me but I simply ignored him laying him down on the other side of the chariot.

\--------------------

''the rest I'm sure Fergus told ya'' I said as Sam nodded and looked at me with pure sadness in his eyes ''I can't believe all of this happened to you'' he said resting his hand over mine squeezing it gently as I rolled my eyes ''and I won't even mention the tortures I had to go through when I left Fergus...''abandoned'' him as he likes to say...they were hunting me for witchcraft and I couldn't die like that, I had to leave leaving Fergus behind or else they would have killed him too...I hated him of course but...truth is I didn't want him death anymore'' I explained sighing ''it hasn't been an easy life Winchester'' I said looking down ''the greatest monsters always hide a dark past'' I said and Sam nodded quickly undoing my chains ''Rowena I'm deeply sorry'' he whispered and I shrugged ''you can't change the past'' I said as he placed a soft kiss on my cheek ''I'm just saying you deserved better Rowena'' he said and a small smile appeared on my lips ''yes I did'' I said sighing ''do you have any scotch around?'' I asked, and he scoffed smiling ''sure, come with me'' he said and I rose an eyebrow ''woah no more chains?'' I asked and he shrugged ''nah... Dear old Rowena would have never opened up like that...we have a bond now, I trust you'' he said helping me up wrapping his arm around my waist to help me to stand steadily and I sighed leaning closer to him because he seemed so nice, but I was still too scared to trust someone...even after centuries ''do you think you'll ever love again?'' Sam asked and I frowned ''maybe why?'' I asked, and he shrugged blushing deeply red ''nothing just asking'' .

I laughed weakly and stopped walking to cup his cheek ''you've been in as much pain as I've been Sam Winchester, I'm pretty sure no one could understand me as much as you do'' i admitted as he nodded and cupped my cheek ''Rowena...let me kiss you and then...one day you could love me, you don't have to love me now...i can wait even 50 years just keep in mind I'm a hunter so...'' he joked and i smiled closing the gap between us to kiss him softly...maybe I could have loved again


End file.
